Beginnings …

… in which listmaking is advocated, a bean appears and there is cheese consternation …

My poor little blog, neglected after but two posts! Well it’s the 2nd of January, and I resolve to remedy that.

Actually, I’m not a fan of resolutions at all and I do not resolve to remedy anything. In my experience, they tend (after the initial enthusiasm) to become little more than a measure of failure. See? This ne has been retracted before it even got going! I still berate myself regularly for my failure to practice yoga daily. It’s not that I don’t do other things, or even that I don’t do yoga sometimes, but not sticking to my own resolution has almost made me avoid it when I might otherwise just get on and fold myself into a pretzel.

I much prefer lists.  Find something I’d like to do, break it down into a beautiful list of it’s component parts, and tick them off at a non-prescribed pace, but edging ever closer to whatever it is I want to get done. I have made lists of all the things we need to fix in the house over however long such things take. I have completed a list of the numerous silly bits and pieces needed to be good hosts to our darling outlaws for Xmas, and I will add my blog at least to my monthly to-do list.  Most recently, I have made a list of the things I need to sort out before going on maternity leave.

Yes, dear blog; in the couple of months I have left you to fend for yourself, I appear to have acquired a small human in me. Having successfully avoided being pregnant for my entire adult life, it turns out doing so, even with my great enthusiam for planning, isn’t that easy.  The first attempt was just due to completely wrong timing. Attempt 2 was a mis-calculation of my (then very carefully calculated. or so I thought) fertile window.  The lucky 3rd time was actually down to another miscalculation and ovulating a little earlier than expected. As a result, I now have an 8 week-old little bean in me! Said bean appears to have been conceived in Budapest, so I shall name it Krampampuli, in honour of the delightful hot booze that was flowing at the time.

So what’s this new experience like?  Well it feels a lot like dreadful indigestion! I am most grateful to have escaped the worst of the early symptoms. No significant nausea so far, and if anything, I’m a little more energised than usual. Any food does however, seem to quickly develop into an enormous balloon. Despite little Krampampuli being far too tiny to be making a baby bump just yet, I do look somewhat pregnant several times a day! To my (rather flatulent) husband’s great amusement, I have been burping extravagantly after every meal. Perhaps soon I will be able to burp the alphabet as a party trick …

Oh, and the saliva! That is a really odd one! Even prior to the successful stick-peeing, I noticed this had increased significantly.  It’s really strange. On arriving home to the smell of delicious home-cooked chilli the other day, my mouth watered like a Pavlovian dog!

In light of this exciting new development, I have had my first sober Xmas and New Year in forever. The lack of hangovers is actually quite a revelation.  I have also discovered that M&S do a wonderful non-alcoholic Mulled Punch (which I have been found swigging stright from the bottle, such is my love for it!)

On the flipside is the seemingly ever-changing list of what is and is not safe to eat.  I have no plans to be over-strict with this or get too caught up in the paranoia (I even had half a glass of prosecco on Xmas day – rock and / or roll!) I am however, pretty cautious about cheese; some years back I spent a delightful week doing a level 4 food safety qualification (nothing to do with my work), and know that listeriosis is a very nasty thing. As such, I have been avoiding all cheeses that are runny, mouldy or unpasteurised. I love cheese though, and this saddens me greatly. This led to a terrible incident the other day, when my dear husband was making a fondue, and I saw that the lovely gruyere he had found (and I was enthusiastically eating while he was grating) was unpasteurised. It was abandoned, and we served a somewhat odd cheddar fondue (without explanation) to our (lovely, unquestioning) guests instead.

I have since read yet more (NHS supported) advice that says that hard cheeses such as Gruyere are ok, even if made with unpasteurised milk, as they don’t hold enough moisture to be a danger.  The Gruyere was then gleefully spread across a turkey, leek and ham pie on receipt of this wonderful news!

So that’s my start of 2017: Sober, bloated and list-writing furiously to ensure that all is in place to welcome a small human into our abode (the dog is going to be VERY confused!)

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