Autumnal Ramblings


I love it when the seasons shift. The summer has been long and generous, and the newly-crisp air is a novel contrast, as well as the perfect excuse to liberate the boots and knitwear from the wardrobe. Today was a rugged brown boots and woollen cape type of day; I do love a good cape!

The household is in full-nesting mode. Having finally procured an audience with the elusive Ikea kitchen planner, we confidently smashed the mouldy old kitchen to smithereens and have dragged it all to the local recycling centre. We now have a week or two of surviving on bread and cheese (and takeaway, no doubt) before the new one arrives. The horror …

Last time around on this little blog, there was much excitement (and armchair research) on implantation bleeding. I’d convinced myself it was all happening. Until I peed (pee has a very unsatisfactory past tense, don’t you think?) on a stick, and the stick said no. It was just my normal period, back to it’s usual schedule.  Ho hum …

Rather than becoming dismayed, I celebrated my (hopefully temporary) non-pregnant status with a pint of wine and some runny cheese. I’ve noticed a trend on the various baby-making forums of a thread starting with someone who’s convinced themselves that something’s happening. Lots of people then relate their own experiences and offer myriad nuggets of advice and the thread escalates until someone wonders: “Hey thread-starter, are you still here? How did things turn out?” Often, the instigator doesn’t resurface, and I wonder if, like me, their mind had led them on a trail of excitement and wild speculation, but ultimately, nothing was afoot.

Immediately after my stick-peeing, my inner voice annunced “of course I’m not pregnant; I feel completely normal!”. Immediately prior though, the same voice (which coerced me into buying the bloody sticks in the first place) was saying “This definitely is not business as usual – this must be it!” Of course, I know the mind is a powerful thing, but mine is clearly also very treacherous!

I hate not being good at things. Although getting pregnant on the very first go (and in under a month) was somewhat optimistic, I still felt somewhat disappointed when it didn’t happen.  Determination undented though, I resolved to undertake a more scientific approach to the next month’s efforts.  Several minutes of in-depth research on the App Store persuaded me that the Ovia app was worth a try.  The level of detail required as I log my daily biological observations makes me feel like a concerted effort is being made, and there is palpable anticipation as it annouces that it is analyzing my cycle. My lovely husband is also most entertained by my morning announcements of my fertility score. It has at least overtaken my regular monitoring of our ancient flat’s humidity level and updating him on the amount of water that the dehumidifier has sucked from the air!

Stay tuned for the next exciting instalment of “What The Fuck Is My Body Up To?”…


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